I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
