We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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