His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
