Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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