Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
