Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Randomize
