I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
