he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
third nipple confirmed
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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