I accidentally had phone sex last night
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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