I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
