Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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