so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
