When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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