He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
