The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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