he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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