she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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