i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
is this the sara with the beer cane?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
