Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize