On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Im part way to drunk.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
