Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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