i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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