she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
