Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
When did angry sex become our thing?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
