I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
