D3 body, D1 cock
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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