But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
i think i just lost a toe
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
