I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
