I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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