Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
This is classic penis vs brain.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
