You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
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