i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
