My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
