So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
