Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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