...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
