No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
