all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
