dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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