Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
