cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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