i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
