I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
