He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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