im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You made out with two different species that night
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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