I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
