pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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