worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
3 2 1 whiskey
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
