Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
