Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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