I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize