Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
