I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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