Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
