Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
