you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
COCAINE IS GR8
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
