She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
