He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
