We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
