I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
