Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
