How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
