It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
