he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
