this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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