You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
i think we sleep fucked last night...
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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