You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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