just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
